I know that something has to give next semester…and for me, it will be work!

When I asked you what my grade in the class was and you said a strong B…I was happy….however, I didn’t have as much time as I would have liked to dedicate to revisions and what not, so I find myself worrying if I will end up with a B or not…I hope so!

I know that next semester…I need more time on my side…no more whipping up papers in a pinch…I have to show my dedication and my perseverance in this matter and show that I really want this. I want to do well…for the better of my own life, for the better of those around me…and for the better of little ones I hope to bring into my life at a later point and time.

I want my parents to be proud that someone from our immediate family went to college…I want Charles to be proud that all the time and money he invested in me being able to set out on this journey was worth it…I want my children to be proud to call me Mom! I want them to say…”My mom is so smart!”

I’ve never been one of those people who…just gets by…who never has to study much, but always seems to skate right through…instead…I have ALWAYS been the person that…in order to get an A…I really have to bust my ass…and this semester…I just really didn’t have the time or energy! No excuse, I know! But, seriously…next semester will be different…because I want it to be…because I need it to be!

I have two words…WHO CARES?!?!?!?

I find it disgusting to think that we as an American people have nothing better to do other than to worry about why Tiger Woods wrecked his pretty little Cadillac after pulling out of his driveway in the wee hours of the morning. Should we not be worrying about our disappearing jobs, our proposed socialized healthcare, or how about 30,000 more troops going to fight a never-ending war?!?!?!

Nah…we shouldn’t worry about those things…let’s be distracted by a man who decided it was right to cheat or to not cheat, for all we know….on his wife! For whatever reason, they had an argument and things seem to have gotten a little out of control. Sure, we’re not all redneckin’ it up in our front yards having domestic disputes, but I’m sure if you ask any socially inclined adult…they will all tell you that they have had a public argument or 2.

I don’t see what the big deal is. Why should we care about what he does in his private life? People idolize him as if he were God, but he’s not…he’s just a normal person like you and I who happens to be REALLY good at playing golf. Too bad we can’t all be like that!

I think we all have a lot bigger and worse problems to worry about other than worrying if Tiger’s keepin’ it in his pants….so….please….let’s get it together, people!

Case & Point

Tonight I had to run an errand and go to Kroger…for my manila folder for all the papers as a matter of fact….it wasn’t like I thought the world was ending and I ran to stock up on water….I needed a manila folder! So, I get to Kroger in the little bumfuck town of Acworth and the parking lot is FULL…I’m like…wait a second…what’s going on….either Kroger is having some really good sales or….I don’t know what.

I proceed inside only to see every person around me with the 3 same essentials: bread, milk, and water…then it dawned on me…the forecast is calling for snow tomorrow….people are in a frenzy! All I can think to myself is…WOW!

I moved from a state where, on some days….it is illegal to drive your car on the road because the snow is SOOO bad. You will be ticketed if you are caught driving on certain days in Indiana. I moved from a state where you have to SHOVEL your car out of the driveway….where the snow plow comes by taking all the snow off the street and pushing it to the side, but there’s so much snow that it COVERS the cars that are parallel parked on the sides of the streets.

So, I stand in Kroger just turning to my left and right…just watching all the people…wandering if they realize how ridiculous they all look buying milk, bread, and water because they think….WHAT? We’re going to get snowed in…here in Georgia?!?!?!? Riiiiiiiight!

Not only are we hanging Christmas lights, but I also bought these two huge PEANUTS displays. One has all the peanut characters standing around the manger…and guess who’s inside the manger….WOODSTOCK! How cute is that?!?! The other is Snoopy’s dog house and he’s laying on top of it staring up at the sky…and it says MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I can’t wait to see the decorations up later this weekend…and to see my family’s face when they come to visit and see it for the first time. I think they will be quite pleased with Charles’ handy work if I do say so myself.

All I can say, though…is that Charles better be careful up on the roof. God knows we’ve already had our fair share of tragedy involving Christmas Night….ladders, and ROOFS….

Just as I told the 911 operator 2 Christmas’ ago….”It’s my boyfriend….he…he jumped off the roof!” Yep, that’s right…he sure did. And do you know why? Because his wonderful and loving girlfriend told him it would be okay and that he would be fine. Yes, I sure did.

We were locked out and he used a ladder to climb on top of the roof to reach an upstairs bathroom window that I said was unlocked….which it wasn’t….so when he came to get back down….he couldn’t reach the ladder…it was too short…he had pulled himself up onto the roof. So, he sat and he sat and he sat some more and refused to move…he said I would have to call the Fire Dept to get him down. I just thought he was being a baby….so I called my Mom and asked her….”Mom, do you think if Charles jumps off the roof, he’ll be okay?” She asked me….”Well, how high do you think it is?” “Ehhh….about 12 feet.” I said. She told me he would be fine…and whose Mom is wrong….well…uhh…mine was! I said, “Mom says you’ll be fine, JUST JUMP!

And so he did….what a mistake…little did I know….we would spend Christmas night and all the way through the New Year in the hospital. You see, my wonderful and loving boyfriend landed with one foot in the grass…the problem was…the other foot hit the concrete patio and he shattered his ankle. He now has 2 metal plates, 20 metal screws, and other random industrial parts in him that cause the metal detectors to go CRAZY at the airport, so needless to say…I’m a little apprehensive about him getting on the roof this Sunday!

Thank you for entrusting in me to take this position where I insist on working myself to death from 8 until 5 and then proceed to drive to school where I take 2 classes a day and then make the hour commute back home while half asleep just to get in bed and do it all over again the next day.

However, having deeply considered all my options, I have decided that this whole full-time work, full-time school just really isn’t what I thought I was signing up for.

I thought you were offering me one of those positions where I would just come in to work, do homework in between answering a few phone calls, and then head home.

Man was I surprised to learn I would be WORKING! Not only would I find that I would be WORKING, but I would also find myself enslaved under the authority of two men who have nothing better to do than to pick on poor little ole’ me! Two men who have taken advantage of me, verbally abused me, and well…just plain pissed me off!

So, it is with deep regret that I ask you to PLEASE….get me the hell outta there!

It also came as no surprise when I took the college placement exam at Georgia Perimeter and found out that I was placed in Math097. I remember telling Charles that I was starting out in Math097….he said, “Math 097? I didn’t know there was such a math!” HA HA Thanks a lot, Charles! Well, I made it through Math097 with an A, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to say the same about Math098.

This past week was a stressful one. Tuesday I had my last chapter test in Math098…Chapter 11….what would have liked to be the death of me. Thursday I had my Math098 final….this would also have liked to kill me…and almost did might I mention…the teacher wanted to know why I was so red….I was broken out in hives from head to toe. Stressful things will do that to a fragile person of my nature.

After making a 45 on my Chapter 11 test and a 69 on my Final….I finished the class with….a 70! Can you believe it? I couldn’t!

I despise…..DESPISE, DESPISE, DESPISE….math!

I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do next semester when I’m finally in College Algebra….I mean, imagine…I’ve taken two REMEDIAL math classes which give me no credit…I have nothing to show for the pain and struggles I’ve been through and now I have to find a way to make it through MATH1111.

Now, right after high school…I attended school for Massage Therapy, so I know a little somethin’ somethin’, but I always keep this information to myself, because I wouldn’t want to intimidate anyone or make them feel uncomfortable.

When we scheduled the appointment over the phone that morning, the gentleman taking the appointment asked my sister if we would mind a couples room or if we preferred to be seperated…she of course said it didn’t matter and he proceeded to schedule it as a couples massage.

Upon arriving, I felt it necessary to tell my sister to please keep talking to a minimum when in the room….I told her I wouldn’t be talking to her and she better not be talking to me…..but NEVER TO FEAR, HER massage therapist did enough talking for all 4 of us! Ugh…Either way…I was able to block it out after about 5 minutes of beginning.

My massage therapist….could have been the Quarterback for the New Orleans Saints. Her two hands together covered my whole back from left to right….and asking for a Deep Tissue Massage….holy crap was that a mistake or what. I’ve had a Deep Tissue Massage before and it’s true that it releases the toxins in your body and that if your therapist does a good job, you will be very sore and even a little sick or to experience nausea afterwards due to the release of all the toxins. What’s not normal is for your entire back from the nape of your neck down to the bottom of the back of your ribs to be BLACK & BLUE as if you had been tied up and beaten….

One thing’s for sure…next time I get that massage therapist, I will check of Firm instead of Deep…

Although I was bummed about not being the first in my neighborhood to have their tree up…I was super stoked to be up at the break of dawn for Black Friday Christmas shopping…and not only did I shop on Friday, but Charles and I also shopped ALL DAY Saturday!

On Friday, I went shopping with my sister, Tonya…we had good intentions to wake up at the sound of the alarm at 5am…well, I guess I should say I had good intentions, because she kept hitting snooze…and well, I….uhhh….I don’t ever hear the alarm. I don’t wake up to one and I certainly don’t rely on one whatsoever. I truly believe the fire alarm could go off and I would remain asleep! After hitting snooze about 4 times, she finally just turned the damn thing off. We didn’t wake back up until around 8am. When I woke up, we started to shower and get ready….no longer feeling like going shopping all day, we decided to go have a massage, lunch and then maybe hit Wal-Mart and Target. So….we did! We had a massage at 10:30….and well, that may be a whole other blog entry! After having our massage, we went to Chipotle for lunch and then headed to Target where all I bought was a fleece sweater. After Target, we went by Wal-Mart where we printed out lots of pictures of the little one for my grandparents back home in Indiana. I was also quite excited to find the 30 piece Rubbermaid Tupperware Set I wanted for 7 DOLLARS! That just doesn’t happen every day, people…

So, with my fleece sweater and my Tupperware in tow, we headed back to my sister’s house where I spent the rest of the night with my father before he left later that night!

As for my tree and decorations…I plan to get them out this week. It’s just so hard with finals and work and well, the list goes on and on…but I do have to make time, because it is my favorite time of the year and with everything that’s been going on in my life…I could use some bright lights and cheerful little snowmen to cheer me up!

I’m thankful for my family everyday. We’ve been through some REALLY hard times together and without them…I would have never made it this far! I tell my fiance’ every day how much he means to me…and I would feel extremely guilty if I didn’t. I am the kind of person that worries something bad will happen if you don’t say “I love you” before you fall asleep or if you go to sleep mad at one another….or storm out of the house angrily….and if something bad should happen…the other person may never really know the truth about how you feel.

That’s a risk I’m not willing to take…

I wasn’t always hostile but  looking back to try and find where I started to be this way is difficult, because I really don’t remember the change…perhaps I could blame it on Atlanta Traffic! I could tell people that the way EVERYONE ELSE DRIVES makes me crazy and filled with anger on the inside (which would be partly true). Or I could say stupid people kill me and just fill me with hatred and the need to scream at random people who, in all actuality, probably don’t deserve to be yelled at.

I wont lie…I am the girl who gets extremely frustrated in traffic and uses the finger as well as many obscenities that my father would be ashamed to hear come out of my mouth no matter the risk of being shot or even rammed by another vehicle. I’m the kind of person who will voice their opinion at any cost. I want to be heard! I am also the person who is quick to “raise hell” if I buy something and it breaks a month later….you better believe I’m taking it back and getting hot headed on the first person I come into contact with.

I realize that these are faults of mine and like I said, I wasn’t always this way…and to give myself credit, I’m not always this way either…however, if I’ve had a bad day…you should probably steer clear from this feisty lady!

I seem to get really angry in traffic which is quite ironic due to the fact that I drive about an hour and a half from home to school. What a commute, right? And what was I thinking? I’m not exactly sure…

I also believe that my partaking in the car business had a lot to do with my anger and frustration which then turned into hostility. If nothing else, just blame it on the car business. That’s what I’ve learned…besides…they are probably the most crooked people on the face of this earth and therefore have contributed to my anger issues…